confidence

There are moments in our lives where we have a negative conversation with ourselves, even when you don't realize you are doing it. We think we aren't strong enough, brave enough, pretty enough, smart enough, you fill in the blank. We self-doubt and then compare ourselves to others. We all do it whether you want to admit to it or not. The key is recognizing when you are doing it, acknowledge it, and then move on and/or change your tone. Experience has taught me that building confidence helps deter those negative conversations I would have. I would easily find myself envious of others accomplishments, relationships, experiences, you name it and I was probably wishing I were them. At CrossFit I would see some of the other ladies lift heavy or do movements that I couldn't even imagine ever doing, and sometimes still think that way. I couldn't see myself getting that dream job, or experiencing that once in a lifetime trip, or doing a push-up. But something has changed, I am changing, the way I think is changing.

The change is happening because I am becoming more confident in my abilities. I stopped looking to others for my happiness and began looking within. This has been an ongoing project with myself for a while now but recently I seem to have taken an enormous step towards gaining more confidence. I don't know if it's any one singular moment or a culmination of many, but I don't feel envious of anyone anymore. I realize that what others have and experience is an outcome of their own stories and I need to write my own that is of me. I am working towards my Bachelors in something that I am most certainly passionate about. I have many different relationships that I am very proud of and cherish. And even though nothing in my life is quite perfect I am happy with how everything is.

When it comes to CrossFit I have realized that my confidence level has gone far and beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I'm no longer afraid to try to do a movement or to lift a heavy bar. I may have a moment of doubt but I continuously prove to myself that I am fully capable. Those ladies I use to look at with envious eyes are now inspirational to me. Because not only do they give me a sense of awe, I know that with hard work and a willingness to not give up, I can reach their level. The more I keep proving to myself that I can do this or that, the more my confidence builds.

Anyone can build confidence, it just takes you willing to try and to keep trying even when you fail. We don't learn from sitting back and watching others succeed, we learn from doing for ourselves. So whatever your goal/dream/aspiration/etc is, get out there and try. Write your own story, don't live your life through someone else's.

This photo was taken from Pinterest.