when life gives you lemons...

Just a few days ago I felt like I had a billion and one things to share and I sit here tonight staring into the monitor of my laptop clueless on what to type. I do have much to share but I am at a loss of where to begin and what would be appropriate to share. Just a month ago I was walking on cloud nine, having accomplished my very first handstand, working on my wall walks, getting the gist of a kip, and most importantly learning I got accepted into Concordia University.

Well I haven't done another handstand, I have done a few attempts but I think the fear is rather strong. So I have been practicing kicking my legs up, trying to get use to the feeling of that motion. I think it is only a matter of time before I get use to it and do it on a regular basis. As for the kip, I keep working on it and I am getting the hang of it, though I haven't done a full kipping pull-up. I am not expecting that to happen in the very near future but it is something I am working on.

Something that I finally got back to doing are box jumps. I purchased some knee sleeves that I can double for shin protection and that helped ease some of the fear on getting back at it. Last Wednesday the WOD called for quite a bit of box jumps and at times I had to just do step-ups as I didn't have any confidence but for the most part I did the jumps. Feels good to be back at it, but I think it will be a while before I am completely at ease again.

So my biggest piece of news has to do with my continuing education. I have recently learned, without delving in too personally, that my financial aid will no longer be helping me. In other words, as of right now I will not be going to Concordia to begin working on my Bachelors Degree in January. I am not sure if I will at any point in fact, and I can not express the disappointment I feel right now. At this moment I am not entirely sure what I will do, what my choices really are, but I know that with every closing of a door another one opens. I am trying my best to hold on to that thought and believe in it. I know this isn't the end of the road for me.

This photo was taken from Pinterest.

knocking down limits

This week has been one of mini triumphs for me, both in and out of the gym. I am one more step closer to finding out if I will be attending Concordia this coming January, I should receive news in the first week of December. This is an enormous step for me, as it is the beginning of a future that can hold many opportunities for me and I am so excited about this!

As for my successes in the gym this week, I have goals that I am trying to meet and have begun working on them when I have time to spare. I have been stuck on the wall walks, only able to walk my legs up but not my hands back. One evening I decided to start working on trying to walk my hands back, at first it was just a shimmy. The next evening I tried I actually moved my hands back a step or two. The third night I gave it a go I got even closer, but that is as far as I got. Fear of falling backwards has been plaguing my mind. I also need to work on walking back out, I've been panicking and just falling to the side. This may not sound like a big deal but after almost two years of CrossFitting and only now making this sort of progress is a big deal to me.

The second thing that I accomplished was, somewhat, kipping. We had a WOD this week that had pull-ups, and instead of doing ring rows like I have the last several months, I did banded kipping pull-ups. In all honesty I had no idea if I was doing it right or not, I just moved however I felt my body would move to get my chin above the bar. I no rep'd myself a few times but still hustled through the WOD. Afterwards I asked Coach Joon how to kip and he told me that I was already doing it. Then it all made sense!

Lastly, I accomplished something that I never thought I'd do, like ever! I did my very first handstand!!! There are a lot of things I was able to do as a child and somewhere along the way I lost it all, as many of us do. After seeing my first WOD with HSPU, I thought to myself that I will always be modifying that movement. This is partly my not having any faith in myself but also thinking I am not strong enough to hold myself up. Well it took a few tries but with Coach Tony's help I did it and it was amazing and scary all at the same time. I wanted to practice them again tonight but after the FYF WOD, I felt far too beat up to even attempt it. I'll get back to it on Monday.

Tonight was also a triumphant night for me. I fought really hard, mentally, to keep moving through the suck. My quads were constantly on fire and my low back was flat out tired. And this wasn't even the hard part, the AirFit just about killed everyone. Naturally I am exaggerating here but when you do something that leaves you completely uncomfortable no matter what position you lay, sit, stand, or walk, you know it was a bad one! For this portion of the WOD we had to do 3 rounds for time, as fast as you can on the AirFit, 20 calories for the ladies and 30 calories for gents. I am impressed myself tonight by getting incredible times, times that blows all of my past times out of the water (23/32/39). All of my hard work with Joon is most certainly paying off. My biggest lesson this week and evening? That no matter what age or fitness level I am, I can knock down the limits I have set up for myself. I am able and I am willing.

This photo was taken from Pinterest.